Tiger Woods: Sex Addiction & Treatment?

Today it was reported that Tiger Woods potentially would check himself into a sex addiction treatment program. He will join a list of celebrities that have checked into sex rehab in this past year. There is a prevalence of sex addiction in our society as noted by the cultural preoccupation with how sex is reflected in TV, magazines, radio, news, and movies. The probability is infidelity triples in celebrity sports relationships due to the countless opportunities that are offered to an athlete to cheat. It is important to note, NOT EVERY PERSON THAT CHEATS IS A SEX ADDICT, BUT EVERY SEX ADDICT IS PRONE TO CHEATING.

WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION?

Sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others. The sex addict is willing to sacrifice what they cherish most in order to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior. The sex addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, nurturing, or relief from stress, etc. the way an alcoholic relies on alcohol, or a drug addict on drugs.

WARNING SIGNS THAT PUT INDIVIDUALS AT RISK:

a. Coping with stress by using sex to relieve tension

b. Determination to find ways to maximize sexual behavior opportunities

c. Concerns, disappointments, or guilt about sexual behavior

d. Losing sensitivity and compassion for how actions hurt self and others

WHAT IS INCLUDED IN THE TREATMENT PROCESS?

a. Admit there is a problem and that they want to get help for it.

b. Get to know the addicts true belief system and impaired thinking. The treatment process must develop a feedback system that keeps reality in focus (After all a sex addict will have distorted reality).

c. 90 days abstinence period from acting out behaviors and avoiding things that would trigger them to the behavior.

d. Accountability system in place including a sponsor.

e. Support group

f. Individual counseling

g. Couple counseling (if applicable)

It is very important that couples learn from the Tiger Wood’s drama by reexamining their relationships and put boundaries in place to protect their relationship by learning how to be emotionally intimate with each other. Sex addiction is also known as an intimacy disorder, which basically means the addict feels that no one will take care of his needs; he does not know how to share on an intimate, honest level with others. The sex addict is not connected with who he is so in turn he cannot truly care about others for more than what he can get from them. The sex addict has emptiness inside for various reasons and instead of finding healthy ways to deal with it; they go the selfish route and try to get quick fixes to cover the pain.

The good news is that even though it might feel hopeless, there is hope! No, it won’t be easy but even though this is an addiction that one has to be very intentional about the rest of their life, through counseling, strong boundaries and a willingness to learn new ways to deal with their pain, they can find the true intimacy they have always desired. Once they have learned this for themselves, they can in turn have healthy intimate relationships with others where feelings are mutually shared and cared about. There is hope and healing for couples that have been affected by this devastated addiction. Individuals can truly find freedom from the prison that they have put themselves in and relationships can be restored.

Listen to Janie's radio interview about Tiger Woods & Sexual Addiction to learn more about sex addiction, and what treatment looks like for those that struggle with sexual addictions.

NOTE: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the author's contact information below intact

About the Author: Relationship Expert, Janie Lacy, MS offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Relationship Websites and provides phone or face to face counseling in the Orlando area. Janie has a passion to reach out and help people grow and mature through difficult life situations. She has a relational approach and a unique ability to connect with individuals. Drawing upon her broad range of experience in private practice, not-for-profit organizations, hospitality and the medical industry, she has helped countless people in many arenas of life. She offers keen insight on all aspects of relationships – family, marriage, parenting, dating, and personal growth. Visit her webpage to learn more about her or for more counseling and coaching resources go to Total Life Counseling Center's site.

10 Ways to Recover After Losing Your Job

I was in the grocery store the other day overhearing a conversation about someone losing their job. The next day I spoke with an acquaintance who talked about a neighbor killing themselves because they lost their job. More and more people are out of work and are having a difficult time getting back on their feet. In 2009 it takes longer to find work and there are fewer jobs available. People are left scratching their heads wondering what to do and how to cope.

It isn’t easy staying positive when the phone doesn’t ring and all those resume’s you sent out

seem like they went into a big black hole. Even though our economy is weak and jobs are few, there is still hope. People are finding ways to spend their weekends with friends having a quiet dinner at home. Instead of going to Disney World for a family outing people are taking their kids to the park and enjoying the fresh air, enjoying the simplicity of the playground and just watching the sky. There is a lot to be said for simplifying our lives and doing without.

We are learning that life isn’t about the material possessions but about relationships. Renewing old friendships, spending more quality time with family and friends, or enjoying a simple walk with someone you love and care about can go a long way. Here are a few tips on how to survive a job loss.

1. Avoid thinking negative thoughts about yourself relating to your job loss. When you start to become critical you start to believe you are worthless. That kind of thinking is self-sabotaging.
2. Continue to focus on your strengths and believe in them. By thinking about what you are good at you’ll be able to steer the unwanted negative thoughts away.
3. DON’T rely only on the Internet to find jobs. That is the least effective method for finding work. Although the Internet is still a resource, don’t make that your main one.
4. NETWORK with as many people as possible. Let them know you are looking for work and are hungry for a job. Try creating a profile in LinkedIn.com and ask friends to write you a reference.
5. Be willing to change. Sometimes when you lose a job another door of opportunity opens up that you least expect. If you are not willing to change you may miss the opportunity.
6. Don’t isolate! Make sure you are spending time with friends and family.
7. Exercise! If you don’t regularly exercise, use this time to develop an exercise routine.
8. Find spiritual support.
9. Avoid eating too many carbohydrates and increase your protein.
10. Avoid too much alcohol, nicotine, illegal drugs, and anything not healthy for your body.

NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact. About the Author: Debbie Haughton, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern. Debbie Haughton has performed career assessments & coaching for students and professionals. She has counseled clients ranging in age from young adolescents to mature baby boomers and from many different walks of life. Her ability to relate well to the wide range of individuals comes from her caring and compassionate personality, her true desire to help others, her 20+ years as a parent and wife and the variety of professional endeavors she has pursued. Throughout her career, she has worked in sales, television broadcasting, advocacy for the handicapped, advertising, teaching children’s music performance, music and event production and counseling. Total Life Counseling Center uses FDA approved supplements and dietary changes along with therapeutic interventions, family education and support, social skills groups, leadership camps and more to assist families. Access more complimentary counseling and coaching resources from The Total Life Counseling Center (407.248.0030) by visiting their extensive posting of blogs and special reports designed to save you time by strategically solving problems at the below links:

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5 Reasons Why Tiger & Elin Woods Can Survive Infidelity

From the Oval Office to Hollywood homes most recently Elin & Tiger Woods …. infidelities make headlines around the world. According to the “Myth of Monogamy” by Peggy Vaughan, 60 % of husbands and 40 % of wives will have an adulterous affair and 65% of those marriages will end in divorce. Infidelity can destroy even the strongest relationships. The betrayed partner is left with feelings of shame, guilt, and anger. These feelings can be extremely difficult to overcome, however, it is possible to emerge as a stronger couple with the support of family, friends, a therapist, and each other.

There are many reasons why someone has an affair. It can range from poor judgment and a lack of impulse control at the office with a co-worker to a more common search for an emotional connection. Whatever the reason the effect is devastation to the relationship. "Nothing rocks a person's sense of self, trust, and marriage more than infidelity," says Michelle Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage. "Infidelity leaves people questioning their sanity, as well as everything they believe to be true about their spouse, and about the viability of their marriage. Infidelity is

crippling."

Consider these 5 Reasons Why You Can Survive Infidelity:

1. RAW HONESTY. After all cards are on the table, the couple has an opportunity to create a new pathway to healing and growth. Honesty is about more than just not lying; it is also about not withholding relevant information.

2. EMOTIONAL NEEDS. The needs of each individual can now be truly discovered, and these needs will need to be met on a daily basis to keep the couple walking on the pathway to healing and growth.

3. ACCOUNTABLITY. Accountability is needed on a different level, which creates a sense of security and trust. This also includes letting your spouse know when you are attracted to someone else. This will keep it from being in secret, thus decreasing the opportunity to manifest into an inappropriate relationship.

4. COMMUNICATION. There is no way around it. When a couple decides to fight for their marriage, deep and intense communication emerges over time. The myth of “what I don’t know won’t hurt me” robs individuals of being able to act on facts.

5. REBUILT TRUST. According to Glen Westberry with Living in Freedom Everyday (L.I.F.E.) Ministries, rebuilding trust for the offended person is the most difficult part of the healing process because the offended person does not know what has been true and what has been a lie in their marriage. The offender thinks that forgiveness is the key and that it will make the relationship better. However, forgiveness is not for the offender, it is for the offended person. When that person forgives, it brings healing and it opens the door to rebuild trust and starts the journey to healing.

RESOURCES:

Weiner-Davis, M. (2003). The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Westberry, Glen. Living In Freedom Everyday Ministry (L.I.F.E.) Orlando, Florida.

Vaughan, P. (2003) The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs, Third Edition. New York: New Market Press.

About the Author: Janie Lacy, M.S. is a Relationship Expert who has a passion to reach out and help people grow and mature through difficult life situations. Janie has invested in the lives of others through public speaking, leadership training, educational instruction and small group ministry. Janie received her Masters of Science degree in Counseling Psychology through Palm Beach Atlantic University and her Bachelors of Science degree in Business Administration from the University of Central Florida, specializing in management. Her professional affiliations are with the American Counseling Association, the American Association of Christian Counselors, and the Florida Mental Health Counselors Association.

Total Life Counseling Center
View media stories on our blogs and Educational Videos on the following topics: ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Mistakes Parents Make when they Divorce, and more.

FIVE WRONG REASONS PEOPLE MARRY

Are you or someone you know considering marrying their partner? Many couples get married based on feelings or circumstances. Marriage can be a wonderful experience through proactive work. During pre-marital counseling sessions with couples, one of the questions I often ask: what do you like about each other and why are you getting married? Many times the first response is “because we love each other.” Then I ask, what does that mean to you? The couple will usually give me a funny look as if to say, “are you serious?”

Daily Buzz News with Relationship Expert Janie Lacy, MS

CONSIDER THE FIVE WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED:

1) YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO

I have heard story after story from individuals that they have had some bad apples along the way, so when they met their husband, they thought he walked on water. When they reflect back, they realize he was “better” than the rest, so they thought he or she was the best that they could do. Therefore, they ignored the red flags when they decided to marry.

2) YOU WANT YOUR PARTNER’S MONEY OR TO INCREASE YOUR INCOME

Many people know this is a bad idea, but how many people would ever even admit to noticing their partner’s car before they even saw their partner? That can be a very extreme example, however, if you find yourself more drawn to your partner’s bank account or how they can relieve your financial stress, it may be a good time to consider what is really important to you.

3) YOU THOUGHT SOME ASPECT OF YOUR PARTNER COULD CHANGE

It is very common to hear one or both partners say in marriage counseling, “I thought he would grow out of it.” This is the case for many of the couples that I have worked with in my office. He or she says, “This is the way I was when you married me” and he or she says, “I thought you would change.” If your partner is focused on video games, sports, shopping or going to mom’s house every Sunday, there is a good chance that will carry into the marriage!

4) FELT PRESSURE FROM YOUR PARTNER THAT IT WAS THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP

So you dated through college or spent the last few years together and your partner keeps pushing you to take the next step. You figure, ok, I guess that is the natural thing to do. Be careful if your main motivation is to please your partner or if it just seems like the “thing to do”! If you are not 100% committed, getting married won’t change things.

5) YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SINGLE ANYMORE

Many people have not learned how to be alone or to take care of themselves, so they feel they will get married and someone else will be there to fill the void. Many will start to think, “Who wants to be the last one to get married?” or “I am not getting any younger and I want to have kids!” Marriage is about partnership and it comes with enough pressure, so be careful that you are not getting married out of loneliness or with unreal expectations of your partner.

If you can identify with any of these reasons, it is important that you take time to be honest and evaluate the reasons behind your desire to marry. You can start with sitting down and writing out a pros and cons list with your partner about the relationship. It is important to know yourself and your own needs. We cannot expect someone to fulfill our needs if we do not know them. It is healthy to have goals within a relationship. You want to express your needs and expectations before you marry, so there are no surprises after you said, “I do.”

NOTE: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the author's contact information below intact.

About the Author: Relationship Expert, Janie Lacy, MS offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Relationship Websites and provides phone or face to face counseling in the Orlando area. Janie has a passion to reach out and help people grow and mature through difficult life situations. She has a relational approach and a unique ability to connect with individuals. Drawing upon her broad range of experience in private practice, not-for-profit organizations, hospitality and the medical industry, she has helped countless people in many arenas of life. She offers keen insight on all aspects of relationships – family, marriage, parenting, dating, and personal growth. Visit her webpage to learn more about her or for more counseling and coaching resources go to Total Life Counseling Center's site.

Five Relationship Tune-Up Tips: Lessons Learned from Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods confession today is a reminder that celebrities are people too. Most people think that cheating and affairs happen to other people, but I am sure Elin Woods felt the same way until now. Most people do not know that 60% of men and 40% of women cheat, but there are steps you can take to minimize the risk of an affair from affecting your relationship.

Hollywood to golf courses, cheating will continue to occur and those involved will forever be changed. The questions many people ask: why would such a famous man with a beautiful family risk his reputation for occasional sexual encounters? The answer is not as black and white as it may seem to most people. However, there are a few lessons that we can all learn from Tiger Woods “transgressions” with Jaimee Grubbs.

One lesson is whether you are a celebrity or an ordinary person, you will eventually get discovered. Many people try hard to cover up their affairs, however, people get comfortable in their affair and they will eventually slip up and “create an opportunity” to be found out. Another thing that can be learned from Tiger Woods is reexamining where your relationship is today to prevent future hurt and betrayal in your relationship.

THESE ARE THE TOP RISKS FOR AN AFFAIR TO HAPPEN IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP:

1) YOU DO NOT FEEL YOUR SPOUSE UNDERSTANDS YOU.

2) THERE IS A LACK OF AFFECTION – SEXUAL AND NON-SEXUAL.

3) YOU FEEL EMOTIONALLY DISCONNECTED FROM YOUR SPOUSE.

4) YOU ARE MORE LIKE ROOMMATES, HAVE COMPLETELY SEPARATE LIVES.


5) YOU DISCUSS MARITAL CHALLENGES WITH SOMEONE OTHER THEN YOUR SPOUSE (IN PARTICULAR THE OPPOSITE SEX).

If you selected at least two of the five, you are at risk for an affair damaging your relationship. Many times we work very hard on maintaining our physical appearances or our positions in our jobs. How about maintaining your marriage? If you have discovered that your relationship is at risk, call a marriage counselor today.

More Marriage Tips on How to Survive Infidelity, Strengthen your Marriage, Keep your Marriage a Priority with Kids, and more.

NOTE: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the author's contact information below intact.

About the Author: Janie Lacy, MS provides counseling in the Orlando area and has a passion to reach out and help people grow and mature through difficult life situations. She has arelational approach and a unique ability to connect with individuals. Drawing upon her broad range of experience in private practice, not-for-profit organizations, hospitality and the medical industry, she has helped countless people in many arenas of life. She offers keen insight on all aspects of relationships – family, marriage, parenting, dating, and personal growth. Visit herwebpage to learn more about her or for more counseling and coaching resources go to Total Life Counseling Center's site.

4 Tips to Thrive Through the Holidays

If you are like most people, when you see the holiday displays around Halloween, you ask yourself, is it that time already? Holidays can be met with mixed emotions, the joy of the season and the feelings of being overwhelmed. How would you like to not only survive the holidays but also actually enjoy them this year? By following the 4 practical tips below, you will be well on your way! Also, watch the Fox 35 Orlando News Interview with author Janie Lacy, MS.

1. Lower your expectations. Much of the frustration people experience from the holidays is setting their expectations too high. They expect too much from friends or family, and when they don’t get what they want, they get frustrated.

2. Take time for yourself. Be sure that no matter how busy you get, that you take time for yourself. Many people rush through the holidays with their to do list. Take a long walk, listen to some holiday music or enjoy a long bath to give yourself some much-needed relaxation time.

3. Stay out of debt. Debt steals people’s enjoyment through the holidays knowing that when the holidays are over; they still have to pay for it. Make a list ahead of time, set spending limits within your budget and remember, your PRESENCE with your family is more important than your PRESENTS.

4. Enjoy what you can. Go with an attitude of knowing that things will be what they will be. You can’t control other people or their actions. Try to embrace their uniqueness and make fun memories.

When the New Year has arrived, what will be those holiday memories? Will you be glad it is over or will you reflect on the joyous occasion? You can be proactive starting now! Happy Holidays!

NOTE: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the author's contact information below intact.

About the Author: Janie Lacy, MS provides counseling in the Orlando area and has a passion to reach out and help people grow and mature through difficult life situations. She has a relational approach and a unique ability to connect with individuals. Drawing upon her broad range of experience in private practice, not-for-profit organizations, hospitality and the medical industry, she has helped countless people in many arenas of life. She offers keen insight on all aspects of relationships – family, marriage, parenting, dating, and personal growth. Visit her webpage to learn more about her or for more counseling and coaching resources go to Total Life Counseling Center's site.

Tips on How to Stay Mentally Healthy in an Unstable Economy

After the recent shootings in downtown Orlando and Texas, people are left wondering are we really safe anymore? The recent economic downturn has caused many people to lose their jobs, homes, and financial security. Jason Rodriquez is a recent example of someone who was unable to stay mentally healthy and took out his frustration on others.

With so much loss and worry, it is no wonder we are seeing more violence all around us. Mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and bi-polar condition are increasing and causing great instability in US citizens all over. How can people avoid becoming unstable when so many difficult circumstances arise?

10 Tips to staying emotionally healthy

1. Stay connected to family and friends
2. Find spiritual support
3. Prayer and meditation
4. Exercise
5. Recreate and have fun
6. Journal what you are feeling
7. Get proper rest
8. Maintain a healthy diet
9. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine and sugar
10. See a mental health counselor


NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact. About the Author: Debbie Haughton, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern. Debbie Haughton has performed career assessments & coaching for students and professionals. She has counseled clients ranging in age from young adolescents to mature baby boomers and from many different walks of life. Her ability to relate well to the wide range of individuals comes from her caring and compassionate personality, her true desire to help others, her 20+ years as a parent and wife and the variety of professional endeavors she has pursued. Throughout her career, she has worked in sales, television broadcasting, advocacy for the handicapped, advertising, teaching children’s music performance, music and event production and counseling. Total Life Counseling Center uses FDA approved supplements and dietary changes along with therapeutic interventions, family education and support, social skills groups, leadership camps and more to assist families. Access more complimentary counseling and coaching resources from The Total Life Counseling Center (407.248.0030) by visiting their extensive posting of blogs and special reports designed to save you time by strategically solving problems at the below links:

Our Blogs
Our Total Life Counseling Site

10 Warning Signs of Mental Instability in the Workplace

With the recent shootings in Downtown Orlando by Jason Rodriquez, many people find it hard to go to work without being paranoid something similar might happen to them. Many people are left wondering how they could avoid the same kind of danger. Are there ways to prevent this kind of violence in the workplace?
Not every incident of violence in the workplace can be prevented but there are some warning signs to look for if a person is mentally ill.

10 Warning Signs of Mental Instability

1. Paranoia
2. Extreme Jealousy
3. Fascination with violence
4. Depression
5. Addiction to alcohol, illegal drugs and legal drugs
6. Are extreme loners
7. Exhibit extreme mood swings
8. Emotionally unstable
9. Been violent in the past
10. Explosive anger problems

If you spot three or more of these traits in a person you might want to telling your employer or human resources department. Your employer or human resources department can interview other employees to corroborate your story and then recommend counseling for the employee through an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) or mental health counselor. The counselor could then determine if the employee should be be hospitalized under the Baker Act. The Baker Act is Florida’s involuntary treatment law. It can be enforced by judges, law enforcement officials, mental health counselors, and physicians. If you spot someone who you feel might be mentally ill you can call a mental health professional or 911 and report them so they can get help.

They would be taken to a mental health facility for an evaluation by a professional to determine if they are indeed mentally ill and could be a danger to themselves or others. Once they are evaluated and diagnosed as mentally ill, they will receive treatment and care so they don’t become a danger to themselves or others.

NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact. About the Author: Debbie Haughton, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern. Debbie Haughton has performed career assessments & coaching for students and professionals. She has counseled clients ranging in age from young adolescents to mature baby boomers and from many different walks of life. Her ability to relate well to the wide range of individuals comes from her caring and compassionate personality, her true desire to help others, her 20+ years as a parent and wife and the variety of professional endeavors she has pursued. Throughout her career, she has worked in sales, television broadcasting, advocacy for the handicapped, advertising, teaching children’s music performance, music and event production and counseling. Total Life Counseling Center uses FDA approved supplements and dietary changes along with therapeutic interventions, family education and support, social skills groups, leadership camps and more to assist families. Access more complimentary counseling and coaching resources from The Total Life Counseling Center (407.248.0030) by visiting their extensive posting of blogs and special reports designed to save you time by strategically solving problems at the below links:

Our Blogs
Our Total Life Counseling Site